To be still

Several months ago, my mom helped establish a local cancer support group, which began to be called Roe Valley Friends In Deed. I was the only member without a cancer diagnosis in the group. I attended the sessions whenever my mom was well enough to attend. Despite her passing, I continued to be in contact with the group, specially with those I have grown close to since the group began. I would definitely have their picture taken before I go back to the Philippines. They make cancer look easy. They have enriched my life in more ways than one and I am proud to say that my mom, along with two other pioneer members of the group, made all this happen.

Me and my sister were fortunate to have attended the pamper day sponsored by the Derry Well Woman Programme for the group last 2 August 2011. And during one of the therapy sessions, called Angel Therapy, we were told of a beautiful story that resonated quite well with me. It was inspired by a scripture in the bible: "Be still and know that I am God." These words never had meaning for me in the past. But the last several months that I have spent with my mom and my family here have opened my eyes to something I have constantly taken for granted and denied. Before my mom passed away, I have kept looking for God in places where I remained hidden. Until I realized that I have always been in God's view, I just didn't believe I was lost and therefore did not have to be found. But I was lost. And so I sought and now has found him. When my mom passed away, a tidal wave of peace and calmness drowned my sorrows. It carried away the burdens I have chosen to carry for myself. I found rest in the knowledge that I can entrust my life and the lives of my loved ones unto him. That everything will be in accordance to his will.

I have now started to pray more meaning and intent. I have also been attempting to meditate, mainly influenced by my meditation experience guided by a dear friend. In a daily guidance book on angelic messages, originally given to my mom as a gift, I have found this quote to be most meaningful on what it means to pray:
Prayer means communing with the Divine through dialogue...Prayer can help you clear the air within yourself during times of confusion or indecision. It's a process of self-reflection and honesty in which you let your guard down and admit your deepest feelings and desires. Although we [the angels] already know your true feelings, this is a means of communing with Spirit---specially your higher self---with a deep sense of acceptance. This allows you to bring your shadows to the light, where you discover that there's nothing to fear.
With this, I am reminded of Regina Spektor's song "The Noise:"

All the power of my voice can't compare
with the power of a quiet whisper
Still, is a choice and I choose rage
instead of ever quietly listening


I can't hear you(x2)
I can't hear you anymore
I can't hear you(x2)
I can't hear you though this noise
I can't hear you though the noise

All the power of my words can't compare
with the power of a silent answer
Still, its a choice and I choose to rage
ignoring all those silent answers

I cant hear you(x2)
I cant hear you anymore
I cant hear you(x2)
I cant hear you though this noise
I cant hear you though the noise

all the noise

Yes, it's a choice, and I no longer choose to rage. I am reminded yet again of another quote, this time, from Pablo Neruda. Excerpts of his poem "I like for you to be still" read by Glenn Close:

As all things are filled with my soul
you emerge from the things, filled with my soul.
You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream,
and you are like the word Melancholy.

I like for you to be still, and you seem far away.
It sounds as though you were lamenting, a butterfly cooing like a dove.
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:
Let me come to be still in your silence.

And let me talk to you with your silence
that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring.
You are like the night, with its stillness and constellations.
Your silence is that of a star, as remote and candid.

God's silence is as bright as a lamp and all I have to do is envelope myself in that stillness with peace reigning in my mind. I haven't been good at meditating really. I use guided meditations since beginners like me have a hard time "being still," but I thank God for the silence and I intend to listen with my heart.

Below is the story called "Be still and know that I am God."

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Once upon a time God and his angels were discussing where would be the best place to hide man's divinity.


One angel said "put it on the highest mountain, man would never find it there."


Another angel said "put it at the bottom of the ocean, man would not think of looking there."


A third angel said "hide it in the bowels of the earth."


But the fourth angel, who was very wise, said "if you put it in any of these places, man will find it. He is so clever. But I will tell you one place where man will never look. Put it within man himself. He will never think of looking there.


So in our search for God, we tend to look ourselves, never thinking that by going within we will find him. . . Each of us carry a divine spark within us so perhaps today we can still our minds for a little and make that connection.