13kg

empty at the same time too heavy
it's like I've returned to an empty house
vacant chairs, closets staring back at me
a void where words used to be exchanged.
sleeping next to an upturned mattress,
I am now the solitary other.

empty at the same time too heavy
I close my eyes and I'm back in her purple room
lying on a duvet on the wooden floor
I dare not open my eyes
for fear of finding myself back in this desolation.
like I used to, I placed a pillow behind my legs,
I am now the trapped sojourner.

empty at the same time too heavy
it's like desperately seeking her absent presence
in a  house, in a room she lived in six years ago.
whispering to her "we're home,"
I am now the bereaved daughter.